


Longing

by hazelnuthanna



Series: How to use your force-bond [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom, The Last Jedi
Genre: BESTIEs so specify, F/M, Force Bond, Reylo - Freeform, idk - Freeform, idk man, i´ve never written them before but here we go, poe and rey are gonna be friend, poe just seems like someone rey could go too??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 15:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelnuthanna/pseuds/hazelnuthanna
Summary: " I just have this constant feel that he´s still in there"" If you ever need to talk about it again.. If you ever need to cry again, I´m your Go-to-man"





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> So this takes place after TLJ- which was amazing, btw- and follows a very traumatised Rey.  
> This is my first time writing anything SW related, so please excuse me if it takes me a few chapters to get into the characters and how to write them.  
> Also, since I´m not native in english, I apologize for every mistake I make upfront.

She´s cried so much this last few days, she´s starting to wonder if she eventually will run our of tears. So far it hasn´t happened, but, to be honest, she anticipates ut with every sob she lets loose in the privacy of her room. Well, technically not her room- she is sharing with Rose, a beautiful girl Finn introduced to her as his girlfriend- but the asian girl is as nice as to give her privacy. After all, she said, she prefers sleeping in the mechanics room. Rey is thankful for that; she woulnd´t want to scare the girl with her sobs and screams during her sleep.  
There is a hammering feel against inside her head and she quickly shakes it, making the feeling go away; she knows that feeling all too well by now, and it´s only been three weeks since she cut off the force bond between her and Ben. Kylo, she reminds herself; there´s nothing left of Ben Solo, so why even bother to think his name? Rey lets her head fall back as new tears start to run over her cheeks, dripping down her chin and splattering to the ground. Will she ever run out of tears to shed about Ben Solo, a man she thought she could turn? With just one blink she is back on Ahch-To, sitting inside the brick house, touching hands with Be, and she truly believed, back then, that she could turn him; now, the memory only makes her cry harder, and she shakes her head, frantically, trying to get rid of the memory, of the emotions it brings up, of the loss she´s experiencing again, now.  
She lost so much.  
Not as much as Leia, of course, but she lost so much. They all did.  
There is a beeping sound in front of her door, and then, a knock; she knows that it isn´t Rose, because the few times the Mechanic is here, she just comes in, takes whatever she needs, then shoots a sad smile to Rey. They don´t talk much, but when they do it´s never in their room; they talk when they train or during meals or when they see each other during meetings. Never in the room. So, the knocking can´t be Rose. It can´t be Leia, either, because the General generally comes in after one short knock. She wouldn´t wait.  
Really, Rey doesn´t want to see a person now, so she doesn´t answer; the door opens anyways, and in comes a beeping BB-8; it´s carrying the Porg Chewie brought with him on his head and the little bird gives off a chirp. And that isn´t all that´s coming in- afterthe Porg there´s also Poe Dameron.  
Now, she likes the Pilot. He´s a friend of Finn, after all, he is the reason Finn is here. She´s grown quite close to him, those last few weeks, as well. He´s funny, sometimes, always hotheaded and with a lot of stupid ideas during the meetings; ideas that make Leia loose her temper and slap him straight across the face. He doesn´t mind, really, Rey believes, because he´s still smiling, still coming up with more stupid ideas. He´s nice, that too. Why he´s here, she doesn´t understand; surely, she would say they are something like friends, now, but not the kind of friends that do visit each other in their rooms. She does not know where Poes room is, so that´s that.  
„ You´re crying“ he says as if he just now had seen her. „ BB here just ran off, I didn´t even know it was your… What is going on?“ He asks, and she just shakes her head.  
She doesn´t even want to think about it, she certainly isn´t going to tell him; they just sit in silence, he next to her, not touching but being there, until she eventually grows tired. She´s had enough of crying, but she knows that won´t be the last time.  
When she falls back onto her pillow, rubbing her eyes, he shrugs, gives her a small smile.  
„ Sorry“ She mumbles, sighing.  
„ Are you hungry?“ He asks, and when she nods he stands up; a few minutes later he´s back with something that looks like Soup- it is definitely Soup, and it´s hot; he laughs when she burns her tongue and somehow that makes her laugh, too. Gods, it´s been so long since she last laughed properly- the last time had to be with Han, she thinks and immidiately the sadness is back, makes her look away.  
„ You need to cry again?“ Poe asks; he´s asking a lot, she notices before she nods, putting the soup away; this time, it´s only a few tears and after, she´s laughing again as Poe tells her the story of how he met BB-8; it´s a made up story, she notices when he tells her about fighting Hux off all alone and grabbing the droid from his cold, dead hands, but somehow she still laughs along.  
They only stop talking when the sun starts to set out on the planet. She forgot the name already, she has to ask Leia again, maybe.  
„ I should get going. I promised Leia I would take a shift tonight“ Poe says, and she nods; he´s already halfway through the door when he turns around, giving of a crooked smile.  
„ Hey, if you ever need to cry again, I won´t tell.“ He says, the the door closes. For a moment, Rey is lightheaded, still in the mood to laugh about everything; she turns around, to look out of the window, and her heart stops a beat.  
„ Get out“ She growls.  
She thought she blocked the bond, why is he here?  
„ You´ve put up quite a wall, Scavenger“ He says, and she is ready to reach for her lightsaber and kill him, now and for all. She can´t kill him, she knows that. She wish she could, though.  
„ Get out“ She repeats, scanning over his face really quickly; she found him attractive, once, when he turned to her, killing Snoke and protecting her. But that is all past now; she liked Ben. She doesn´t like Kylo.  
„ Make me“ He says, then scoffs „Where are you?“ He asks, tilting his head, „ I can´t see anything besides you; where are you hiding, you and-“  
She doesn´t say anything when she manages to shut down the Bond, ever so fastly.  
There is no air left in her lungs and right now she truly wishes, she could kill Kylo Ren.  
Of course, she can´t. Killing Kylo Ren would mean killing Ben Solo- whatever is left of him, anyways. It´s pathetic, believing that there still could be Ben; he died when Kylo turned on her again, instead of coming with her after they killed Snoke. There´s only Kylo left now.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, i intended this to be a fanfic, but my english isn´t that good, so I´d like to say, that i might make this a part of a series, but I´m not that ready for a fullblown english fanfic.  
> But more parts of a series? I think,,, or eventually this is just an OS. sorry!


End file.
